Your Chicago Doula- More than a collective- it’s a family.
Settling in to a rhythm as a doula has been nothing short of easy in my 5 year career. Don’t get me wrong, being busy is the goal! Success in numbers is the proof in the pudding when you are a giver, and your giving is supporting your own family. Filling more spaces than you set aside each month to serve those families you just can’t turn away was becoming my downfall. The balance of “too many” to hold and “just right” became a gray area, even working in partnership. I found myself feeling the overwhelm that sat heavy on my heart in the kind of way that made my stomach churn anytime the phone rang. Not because I didn’t want to go to the birth- because I NEEDED to go to the birth, I’ve never felt so drawn to work as I do embracing families the day they welcome new life into their arms. I’ve been blessed to have a husband and parents who are supportive of the unique lifestyle of a birth worker- but my mama heart still stung- missing important events and watching tiny handprints on the windows of our sliding doors grow before my missing eyes was something I could not come to terms with or justify.
And still, I need to support. The lack of safe spaces in maternal health care should worry all of us, and my voice has grown in ways I never presumed imaginable in my early days as a doula. Being able to differentiate “this is how its done” vs. “this is unnecessary” is a skill that comes from witnessing hundreds of providers at the bedside, the warmth that can be amiss, the informed consent that is brushed under the rug, the silencing of voices in the autonomy that should lead every birth experience— it has shaken me hard enough to not be able to walk away from the mystery of when the phone would ring.
Balance. Community. Outreach. Education. Family.
That is why I am working to change the tune of birth worker burn out. Knowing your limit, and sticking to it is just the start. Being a part of a community who wants to support one another is invaluable in times of need- and it is not just when two babies decide they’d like to share a birthday. Your Chicago Doula has created the space for doulas to be there for one another, in intellectual support, physically backing each other up in birth spaces, and sharing insight from our own experiences supporting birth in the Chicagoland community while processing together. One might say we are doula’ing the doulas.
Mentorship
I hit the ground running blind when after finishing my doula certification. I think the imposter syndrome was hitting so hard that I thought other doulas would see through it too- and what would they think of me!? I could not set that tune aside- and so I really leaned into the idea of learning by doing (probably the throw ya to the wolves lifestyle that a tenured career in a trauma hospital afforded me) and while it worked- boy was it isolating. I want to share non judgement community with new doulas, so they know they are not alone, and that it is okay to not have all of the answers in your first handful of births- or even hundreds of births later!
The doula heart and mind carry SO much- when you are giving so much. I am so happy I’ve not only accepted that, I’ve embraced it as we build a family that is there for one another, cheering each other on every day.
Learn more about our doula family at www.yourchicagodoula.com
Keep Calm. Doula On.